Dating can be stressful and nerve wracking. You might feel like
you are under a microscope and all your failures and faults are
exposed in the open. But you can make things easier on yourself
by boosting your confidence. You'll be much more attractive to
any date when you exude self confidence plus you'll be able to
enjoy yourself more and get much more out of the dating
experience.
Since the whole point of dating is getting to know someone
better, most people are nervous about making a good impression.
Self doubts can creep in - are you smart enough? Attractive
enough? Successful enough? That coupled with the threat of
rejection is enough to make anyone's confidence go south.
So how can you increase your confidence for your next date?
First off, don't blow the date all out of proportion. It is just
a date - one afternoon or evening. The rest of your life does
not depend on it, although of course, you could be meeting your
future spouse! Whether you are just looking for a fun night out
or desperately trying to find Mr or Mrs right, it is best to
just focus on the date itself. Take it for what it is and don't
put a lot of pressure on the event. Enjoy the person you are on
the date with and the meal, movie or whatever - don't have any
great expectations other than a fun date.
Go into the date thinking of yourself as a person that has a lot
of confidence. We've all seen them, the person that sweeps into
the room and turns heads even when they might not be the most
attractive or best dressed. If you picture yourself as confident
then you will act this way - even when you don't really feel it.
You've heard it before but the best way to have confidence on a
date is to be yourself. Don't try to impress your date by acting
like someone you are not because you will not have the
confidence to pull it off. If you hit it off with your date,
you'll be glad you weren't pretending to be someone else as it
will only be exposed later and could really much things up for
you. Plus it just takes too much effort to pretend to be someone
else and you won't be able to enjoy yourself as much. And
anyway, why wouldn't your date like you for who you are?
If you feel insecure about yourself, focus on the other person.
Become interested in their hobbies, likes dislikes and really
think about what they have to say. When you put them in the
spotlight it takes the spotlight off of you, plus you get to
learn a lot about them. Ask questions and really hear the
answers then ask more questions about the answers. Of course,
you want to do this in a conversational way and not make your
date feel like you are grilling them! While you don't want to
talk just about yourself the whole time you also don't want to
make it seem like you are avoiding answering their questions.
When you do talk about yourself highlight your positive points.
Another way to take some of the pressure out of a date is to do
something different instead of sitting at dinner and feeling
insecure about coming up with 3 hours of conversation with
someone you don't know. Find a common interest, perhaps hiking
or bird watching and make that date to do that. This way you can
talk about your experiences related to t his interest and it
will take a lot of the pressure off as well as boost your self
confidence as you will be talking about something you know a lot
about!
The main thing when dating is to remember that you are a
valuable and special person. Don't feel inferior to anyone and
be confident - this will help win you many friends and, maybe
even that special someone!
About the author:
Lee Dobbins writes for
Better Self where you can
learn more about self help and self improvement. Visit
www.better-self.com for more on
h
ow to acheive better self confidence.
