Did your libido (your desire) fly out the window with the arrival of your new bundle of joy? Take heart, you aren't alone.

Women experience fluctuations in hormones throughout pregnancy, into postpartum. Let's not attribute lost libido all to hormones, though. Between taking care of baby (and maybe older children), keeping up (or trying to) on housekeeping, and trying to keep up on her own sleep, mom is one busy mother! It stands to reason that her interest in intimacy may be pretty low on the list of things to accomplish in a day.

It's been suggested that U.S. doctors' claim around 45% of women suffer from female sexual arousal disorder, or FSAD. While many feel it's hormonally related, no one can quite figure out how, or why.

Personally, I like to think of mom in percentages. Mom makes up a whole, 100%. But if we break her down, this may be what we are looking at (percentages vary from mom to mom).

Let's chart the make-up of "mom":

80% of "mom" goes toward new baby, older children

10% of "mom" goes to household; basic cleaning, dinner, grocery, budget/bills

5% of "mom" is very basic daily mom maintenance; washing face, brushing hair/teeth, getting dressed.

5% of "mom" is left-over for other miscellaneous life requirements

The first two will fluctuate depending on the age of the children. As the children grow older, the percentages will change; older children will require less of mom and in turn, mom will begin to increase her household chores. The combined percentage here may drop from 90% down to 70, 60 or 50%, depending on stages of life.

As the first two change and percentages start re-adjusting, the last two will also begin to change. As less time is being devoted strictly to the children and household, mom will start making more time for herself and thus, her partner.

So what can you do to increase your own desire, now?

First, and maybe most importantly, keep the lines of communication open with your partner. It's important to make known your lowered libido isn't their fault. On the other hand, if you are having issues with your partner, talk about it.

Make time for yourself. Regardless of whether you work outside the home, or if you are practicing attachment parenting, time for yourself is imperative. Carve out a time slot for yourself. No, not a time for you to get your daily personal maintenance taken care of, i.e. shaving, plucking, etc; but rather a time for you to relax and unwind. Shut the bathroom door, grab a magazine, a cup of wine or juice, and relax in a full, bubble bath complete with candles. Deep breathe, relax, enjoy (repeat).

Compromise may be in order. If you really can't get a spark of desire going, compromise with your partner. Suggest your partner take over a daily chore or two that is usually yours. In turn, you will devote some total one-on-one time. Sometimes snuggle time is enough; while other times snuggling up may just lead to 'getting down'! Make the most of it!

Schedule some dates for you and your partner. Not just one, but a standing date, so neither of you forget. And no, don't pencil it in on the calendar. Mark it in pen! Schedule a date, even a movie night in, just the two of you. Turn off the phone (and cell phones); turn off the computer; turn down the lights. Pop some popcorn. Enjoy the movie, but enjoy each other more.

Be realistic. If you know daily together time isn't going to happen, don't kid yourself and promise it. It leaves resentment and guilt behind. Instead, come up with a good plan that both you and your partner will be able to stick to.

Trial and error throughout life seems to be the rule of thumb. If one thing doesn't work, try something else and then keep re-trying. One thing might not work one day, but will another. Just remember that first suggestion; "keep the lines of communication open with your partner". Remember that you aren't alone. Many new moms find their sexual interest has taken a nose-dive. However, if the percentages the U.S. doctors are suggesting are remotely accurate, then figure for every one woman with a terrific sex life, you're likely to find another woman wishing for one.

About the author:

Judi Cox is a work at home mom living in the Ohio Valley with her husband and 4 children. Judi's current online interests include working on two of her websites http://www.momslittlegarden.com and http://www.mommamuse.com.