How do you know if you're addicted to porn? Answer the question,
"Can you take it or leave it?" If the answer is no, if porn has
become a regular part of your life and if you plan your day
around it--you have a problem!
A porn addict may tell himself, "Every man is into porn." That's
not true, every man is not. The porn addiction will affect every
area of the porn addict's life but the most devastation is in
his relationship with himself and his relationship with others.
An addict is filled with self-hatred, guilt, shame and fear. A
porn addict isn't a bad person but a person in pain. Often the
addict has been sexually abused or suffers from other unhealed
childhood wounds. Porn is used as an escape from stress, fear,
loneliness, emptiness, and rejection.
Relationships suffer because a porn addict spends more time
online with the porn addiction than with his family or friends.
He experiences "being in a trance" where several hours spent
online seem like several minutes. Meanwhile those who love him
and want to have time with him feel ignored, angry, unimportant
and neglected.
There is no love, honor, dignity, intimacy or commitment
involved in online porn and cybersex. Porn addicts also set
themselves up for unrealistic expectations in their personal
intimate relationships leading them to being unhappy and
unhealthy.
The shame, guilt and deceit that stems from porn addiction is
often paralyzing. The results of this behavior leave a porn
addict with feelings of regret, self-pity and humiliation.
Without help he will feel depressed and experience lack of
enthusiasm and passion for life.
Pornography is all about fantasy, an escape from reality.
Reality is life and relationships are hard work. It takes
continuous effort to be in an intimate and nurturing
relationship with a partner and family. When a porn addict
commits to change and becomes 100% responsible for his life he
learns to build relationships on commitment, caring and mutual
trust. Unlike sex in porn, the sex in healthy relationships is
all about love.
About the author:
Copyright -Tess Marshall all rights reserved. Reprint allowed
with all text and links intact.
Tess Marshall, Kick Porn Coach, is an expert on helping people
heal from the pain of addictions and gain back freedom, purpose
and meaning in relationships and life. Go to
www.KickPorn.com
for more information.
